Biden: I was Buck Naked, Trying to Pull My Dog's Tail When I Broke My Foot

Bonchie reporting for RedState

I’m trying to think of what would possess an advisor to Joe Biden to think this was the story to go with, but here we are. As was revealed previously, Biden broke his foot in what was originally described vaguely as him simply playing with his dog.

Now, the claim has morphed. Biden says he was getting out of the shower and decided to attempt to pull his dog’s tail in a playful manner. That’s when a rug came out of nowhere to trip him up, because we all break our foot when we trip over a rug, right?

This is like your kid claiming that aliens caused him to miss his curfew. I mean, come on, does anyone believe this story? Besides, what kind of 78 year old degenerate gets out of the shower, chases his dog around naked in order to painfully pull its tail, and then breaks his foot by tripping over a rug?

Let’s be real. Joe Biden is a decrepit, elderly man who probably broke his foot doing some menial task because his body is falling apart. At least that’s the theory Ace of Spades is going with, and I think he’s probably dead on.

Yeah, this decrepit old man was chasing a dog around.

“That’s what happened.”

No, here’s what happened: This ancient credibly-accused rapist broke his foot just getting out of bed, but they’re making up a story about dogs and tails and monkeyshines to play down the fact of how truly fragile and decrepit he is.

Bingo.

Republicans tried to warn that this guy was a shell of his former self, but the media insisted on treating him as a well aged Adonis. He could ride a bike! He even walked down stairs by himself! Meanwhile, his eye exploded on national TV and his mental lapses became a daily joke.

Of course, maybe he is telling the truth. I mean, we are talking about a guy who routinely sniffs women and girls without permission, so perhaps naked chasing of his dog isn’t that unbelievable.