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2020 Democrats shapeshift into moderates in Ohio

These candidates, with the exception of Bernie, aren’t here to bow to every whimsy of the far-left



Tuesday night’s presidential debates reminded Americans of the opposition party’s greatest superpower, shapeshifting, as the candidates we’ve come to know for race-baiting, fear-mongering, open borders and other Squad-inspired talking points took a dramatic turn toward discussing actual policy.

It was the most pragmatic, and therefore least entertaining, of the four Democratic National Committee-sponsored debates so far and seemed to further prove the party’s absolute cluelessness in getting a foothold in this brand new style of wartime politics invented by Donald Trump.

It wasn’t a complete divorce from woke America, but the tenor of discussion revealed what most people guessed all along: these candidates, with the exception of a gaunt Bernie Sanders appearing after a recent heart attack, aren’t here to bow to every whimsy of the far-left. That was just talk. For months they’ve had plenty of fun entertaining abortion rights for women with penises and free healthcare for illegals, but we are almost a year out from the general election and now it’s time to get down to brass tacks. The candidates instead communicated to the Ohio audience their other selves: corporate, safe-bet Democrats in the style of Hillary Clinton, minus the unpasteurized evil coursing through her veins, although Kamala Harris seems well on her way there.
It was also open season on Elizabeth Warren, the alleged new front-runner, with several candidates, including Tulsi Gabbard, Harris, and Mayor Pete all firing barbs that failed to land on the hectoring schoolmarm senator from Massachusetts.

All 12 candidates, the most ever for a presidential debate, proudly support the impeachment of President Trump, with future Republican Tulsi Gabbard appearing the most thoughtful and hesitant about throwing her gorgeous figure behind the manufactured crisis. Gabbard, relegated to the far end of the stage and wearing the only outfit she owns, a white pantsuit, blasted CNN and the New York Times, the debate’s co-sponsors, for smearing her and other anti-war vets as being agents of Syria and Russia.

It was a delicious, Trumpian moment and completely out of step with the Democratic party, and her peacenik foreign policy is the reason Gabbard gets the brunt of the media attacks. The congresswoman from Hawaii bucked dogma again by condemning the endless ‘regime change wars’ in the Middle East, forcing her mealy-mouthed colleagues on stage to sorta, kinda agree.

If there’s one thing the New York Times has learned repeatedly in the last few months, it’s to not ask any questions that may upset their far-left readership and the stage of Tuesday’s debates were littered in those eggshells. Foreign policy focused on the disastrous consequences, yet to be seen, of Trump’s troop withdrawal from Syria. But the only foreign policy questions people actually care about right now relate to China, which did not come up once during the three-hour-long session.

Still, it was impressive to watch many of these candidates come off of last week’s LGBT Town Hall, where they pandered to mentally ill people by proposing things like removing tax-exempt status from anti-gay marriage churches and decriminalizing the intentional transmission of HIV, to a serious discussion about jobs and General Motors.

In case you didn’t already know Mayor Pete was gay, he admitted to driving a Chevy Cruze, once made right there in the Rust Belt. Somehow, according to Pete, it’s President Trump’s fault those jobs are gone and not decades of swampy trade deals. But the Trump-bashing was dramatically toned down compared to other debates. The most cringe moment of the evening belonged to Kamala Harris, also the night’s big loser, when she demanded Liz Warren support her strange effort to get Twitter to delete the president’s account. As Harris nosedives in the polls, she continually reveals herself to be a burgeoning tyrant. Because Tulsi isn’t viable, the winner of the evening may have been Mayor Pete, who is turning into a bitter, mean queen right before our eyes. People are loving it, it makes him more likable.

The only candidate with a straightforward and palatable message, one that has the potential to appeal to masses of people who may be turned off by Trump’s bravado, is Marianne Williamson and her singular cry to love one another. She was not invited to debate last night and yet the moderators attempted to appropriate her resonate contribution to the national dialogue. The final question of the evening asked candidates to describe an unlikely friendship. Gabbard again slammed the establishment, saying ‘I don’t see deplorables, I see fellow Americans.’ Warren, too, seized the opportunity to remind Americans of our latent decency when she spoke of loving her Republican siblings. But others took the safe road, and praised dead, reviled swamp creature John McCain.  

Those are the candidates who remain most out of touch. As our politics are increasingly about culture and personality, the Democrats are still woefully sifting around in the dark. Not only do they take their voters for granted, banking on a singular message of ‘beat Trump,’ but they insult their intelligence when they so radically shift priorities and personalities. They’re so preoccupied with picking up a voter here and there, they think no one’s watching the ways they transform themselves in order to do that. That’s the olden days of American politics and this is your grandparents’ party. No matter how you feel about President Trump, he’s always the exact same person. Americans like that.