Wouldn't You Like to Be a Prepper Too? (Shhhh, Just Don't Tell Anyone)
Article by Kevin Downey, Jr., in PJMedia
Wouldn't You Like to Be a Prepper Too? (Shhhh, Just Don't Tell Anyone)
Now that the commies have made no secret of their plan to cause worldwide food shortages in the name of environmentalism, I thought I’d throw out some ideas on how to not starve to death.
Being a prepper is like going to Fight Club. The #1 rule is don’t tell anyone you’re a prepper, for several reasons. First, people will think you’re nuttier than squirrel droppings. Some dopes think preppers are crazy, Ted Kaczynski-like hermits who happily forgo running water to live in the woods and eat baby rabbits.
prepper - https://t.co/W7u2hyOLCf pic.twitter.com/N4j6g3pFhY
— Urban Dictionary (@urbandictionary) August 1, 2022
Also, the same dolts who mock you for your secret pantry will be the first to beg you for a can of SpaghettiOs when the excreta hits the air cooler (SHTF) and their little Connor starts to get “hangry.” So keep your supplies a secret.
The first thing you need to do is figure out how many people you need to sustain and for how long. Do you want supplies in case a storm knocks out the power for a week or to survive in the woods for a year after Canada’s Princess Trudeau allows the Chinese Army to pour over the border outside Plattsburgh, N.Y.?
I suggest starting small and building gradually. Get yourself five gallons of water and 20 cans of food (and a can opener) per person. Look for vegetables packed in water.
I add one gallon of water and five cans of food to our stockpile every week — I mean, I have no food stored. That said, you can buy these things at Dollar Tree and not go broke as you prepare for Hurricane Trailer-Park to decimate the Eastern seaboard. Keep an eye on the “use by” dates. Most canned foods will easily last a year. Don’t forget to rotate older food out of your zombie armageddon closet. Who wants to battle commies after eating a spoiled can of Dinty Moore beef stew?
FACT-O-RAMA! Most people do not have food for more than a week. That’s when things will get dicey. The nicest neighbor in the world will put a hatchet in the back of your head for a can of tuna before he will allow his kids to starve to death.
Buy stuff you like to eat. Throw in some treats. Get coffee, and learn to drink it black. When the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride, half-and-half will be hard to come by.
AROMA-O-RAMA! The smell of your coffee will alert your neighbors that you have supplies AND a means of brewing coffee. You may want to forgo preparing anything that will bring starving mobs to your home.
Store food in the coolest, driest part of your home.
You can buy an expensive first-aid kit or build one for way less. Again, Dollar Tree is your friend. Get the basics: band-aids, bandages, and something to wrap an injured arm. Get aspirin, an antibiotic ointment, and a spray bottle of hydrogen peroxide.
Buy toilet paper tablets, garbage bags, and soap. It seems like no one remembers to buy soap. You’ll need it. Especially if the grid goes down when it’s still hot out. When there is no running water, those garbage bags will become disposable toilets.
Ammo is a necessity. Normal, law-abiding people watching their kids starve to death will offer to buy your chow. Then they’ll beg for it. After that, they’ll likely do whatever it takes to get that jar of Jif, including taking it from your cold, dead fingers.
You should have a way to cook. Whether it’s a camping stove or a fire pit, you’ll need a way to warm up that can of Campbell’s Pork & Beans before a hard day of hunting your neighbors’ house pets.
Some people have “bug out” bags, a bag of supplies to last three days as they escape to somewhere safe. If you don’t have any place to go, consider a “get home” bag in case you’re on the road when Godzilla strikes. What will you need to tide yourself over as you make your way home on jammed highways? Several large bottles of water, some energy bars, a toothbrush/toothpaste, and two days’ worth of socks and underwear should suffice.
I’m not going to talk about gas masks, retrievable ammo, and doomsday hand-to-hand fighting tactics. These ideas are just a basic intro to prepping. If nothing else, it’s better than New York City’s nuclear attack warning.
NEW YORK -- A new public service announcement from New York City's Department of Emergency Management warns New Yorkers about what to do in case of a nuclear attack. pic.twitter.com/0JLcrCTtij
— DOCTOR FROM LONG ISLAND NEW YORK (@Doctorfromliny) August 2, 2022
And remember, I personally have no food, water, soap, or ammo stored at my place, so when your kid is famished and smelly, keep moving.
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