DHS Nominee Markwayne Mullin Surges In Popularity After Vowing To Deport Liberal White Ladies
U.S. — As the Trump cabinet experienced a significant changing of the guard, new Department of Homeland Security nominee Markwayne Mullin surged in popularity among the American people after vowing to deport liberal white ladies.
The current Oklahoma senator and prospective DHS secretary boosted his support across the country when he announced that his first order of business in the new position would be to round up all white liberal ladies and ship them out.
"I'll do it on Day One," Mullin told reporters. "For too long, our great nation has been under siege and oppressed by the scourge of liberal white women. That will end when I am in charge of Homeland Security. While we'll continue to focus some of our efforts on addressing illegal aliens, it's important to deal with the biggest problem among our population, which is screaming leftist women with multi-colored hair. It's been a problem for a long time. I'm going to be the solution."
American citizens who have felt discouraged and embattled in recent years expressed hope that Mullin would finally address the root cause of the nation's trouble. "Yeah, the illegal aliens are a problem, but those liberal women… man, they're the worst," said concerned citizen Terry Stewart. "Shipping out all of those screeching harpies would make everything better."
Sources revealed Mullin was already making plans to utilize tactical forces and military cargo planes to detain and deport tens of millions of liberal women.
At publishing time, the U.S. government was reportedly having trouble finding any other country willing to take tens of millions of liberal white women.
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