Ukraine Raises Alarm As Trump Emerges From Meeting Wearing Soviet Ushanka
KYIV — Ukraine government officials sounded the alarm today after President Trump emerged from his meeting with Putin sporting a beautiful Soviet ushanka.
After several tense hours of negotiation, Trump and Putin finally emerged wearing matching Soviet Union swag and cackling about their last game in Goldeneye.
"This can't be good," said Ukrainian Defense Minister Anatoly Markhov, watching the footage. "Oh man, are those matching BFF bracelets he and Putin are wearing? We might be in trouble here."
Ukrainian officials had waited on pins and needles throughout the summit between Trump and Putin, anxious for any word of the proceedings. "We were waiting for some sign, any sign of how things were going," said Dimitrov Klitshcko. "Finally, the door opens and out comes Trump with the hammer and sickle on his ushanka. That is what we Ukrainians would call 'not great'."
At publishing time, millions of Babylon Bee readers had reported finally learning what the actual term is for that funny Russian hat.
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