Media Unconcerned With Circulation To Biden's Brain Deeply Concerned About Circulation To Trump's Ankles

Media·Jul 19, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — The news media which remained unconcerned for four years by the lack of circulation to former President Biden's brain have expressed deep concern over the circulation in President Trump's ankles.

Journalists, who were unable to identify any symptoms of cognitive decline in a man who could not speak and shook hands with ghosts, have sounded the alarm over the mild swelling in Trump's ankles.

"This is no deep fake, America. This is real," said ABC journalist Mario Arrato. "The administration says Trump is okay, but as journalists, we do not simply take their word that the President is healthy. No, we believe the evidence of our own eyes. And that evidence shows mildly swollen ankles, which should trigger Trump's immediate removal via the 25th amendment."

In what is now being referred to in the national media as "AnkleGate", President Trump was diagnosed with a mild case of chronic venous insufficiency, which causes people to need things like supportive shoes. "How can they tell us Trump is fit to serve when he may have to purchase slightly wider shoes?" questioned Senator Chuck Schumer. "Never in my lifetime have I seen a President deteriorate before our eyes like this."

At publishing time, journalists had demanded that the administration stop gaslighting them by claiming that Trump was still competent to do his job despite his mildly enlarged ankles.