Shot That Took Out Trump Assassin Reclassified As Friendly Fire

Babylon Bee🐝

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a new twist in the ongoing investigation into the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump, the United States Secret Service announced that the shot that took out the assassin had been reclassified as "friendly fire."

Thomas Matthew Crooks fired multiple shots from a rooftop near a Trump rally in Pennsylvania, killing one attendee and wounding Trump and others. Crooks was then shot by a Secret Service counter-sniper in the agency's first officially recorded instance of friendly fire in its history.

"This was simply an unintended tragedy," said Acting Director of the Secret Service Ronald L. Rowe, Jr. "It's entirely different from the intended tragedy, and for that, we continue to grieve. Thomas Matthew Crooks, who trained at a shooting range alongside many federal agents, had his life cut terribly short. We will continue to work hard to address any errors that led to this terrible instance of friendly fire."

When reached for comment, the sniper who took the shot that killed Crooks denied having any knowledge that he was firing on one of the government's own. "I had no clue he was one of our brothers," the sniper said. "It was a horrible case of miscommunication and mistaken identity. I would have been a lot more careful if I had known he was one of the guys."

At publishing time, a Secret Service spokesperson revealed agents would begin wearing armbands bearing Crooks's initials to memorialize their fallen comrade.