Should You Get A Tradwife? Pros And Cons

Babylon Bee🐝

Many on social media these days are talking about the trend of "Tradwives", a totally new concept where women marry, have kids, take care of those kids, love their husbands, and engage in traditional home-making tasks.

But is a tradwife right for you? Before you head on over to the wife store, be sure to consider these pros and cons:

Pro: When you marry her, she'll get a few chickens

Con: Within a year, you'll have way more than a few chickens

 

Pro: She has long, beautiful hair

Con: You have to clean the shower drains

 

Pro: Homemade sourdough bread every single day

Con: You now weigh 300 pounds

 

Pro: She homeschools, so your kids are always around you

Con: She homeschools, so your kids are ALWAYS around you

 

Pro: Cans her own vegetables

Con: Botulism

 

Pro: She's always barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen

Con: There's really no con to that, now that we think about it

 

Pro: She loves babies and farm animals

Con: Poop everywhere

 

Pro: She raises the kids herself and now they're all super intelligent and interesting people

Con: You seem kind of dull in comparison

 

Pro: Makes her own butter

Con: It takes FOREVER

 

Pro: Saves money with DIY projects

Con: You're actually the one doing them all

 

Pro: She believes in classical education and teaches your kids Latin

Con: Oh no! They just summoned a demon!

 

Pro: She's incredibly good with money

Con: All your money is in a friggin' envelope

 

Weigh each pro and con carefully, then go out and pick a wife - hurry, while supplies last!