Madonna is morphing into Hillary
My brother texted me on Tuesday to ask if I’d seen the pictures of Madonna at the Grammy Awards.
Of course I had. It was inescapable.
Sure, I don’t watch Hollywood award shows. But, as I said on Tuesday, with social media driving the news cycles, it’s impossible to avoid what happened on award shows anymore.
I replied to my brother’s text with one word, “Bloat.”
Then I followed up by suggesting that if Madonna would embrace her age and stop dressing like a 13-year-old girl at the mall, perhaps she wouldn’t look so hideous.
She’s like Bette Davis in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.”
Then this morning, as I was having my tea before work, another image of Madonna at the Grammys scrolled across my Twitter feed, and it suddenly dawned on me.
Madonna isn’t turning into Bette Davis. Madonna is turning into Hillary Clinton if Hillary suddenly stopped wearing her oversized Muumuus and went for something age-inappropriate.
My brother thinks Madonna’s appearance can be explained by Botox.
But isn’t the point of Botox to make you look younger? You don’t get Botox to age 11 years and morph into Hillary Clinton, for crap’s sake.
Unsurprisingly, Madonna is taking the mockery of her appearance at the Grammys about as well as Hillary took losing to Donald Trump. And just like Hillary, the over-the-hill pop star blamed the mockery on “misogyny.”
She also claimed she was “caught in the glare of ageism.”
Yeah, only because you insisted on dressing like it was still 1983 and you’re still only 24.
The only person committing ageism here is Madonna.
When you are old enough to look like Hillary Clinton, doing your hair up like Pippi Longstocking on a humid day won’t change the fact that you are no longer the bustier-wearing Material Girl writhing on a gondola while lipsyncing to “Like a Virgin.”
Embrace the passage of time, honey, and learn to age gracefully.
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