12 Lesser-Known Benefits Of Reading Your Bible

Babylon Bee🐝

We all know there are tremendous benefits to reading the Bible, but it's so hard to be consistent with reading it every day!

To help motivate you sad, lazy people, we've compiled a list of the lesser-known benefits of immersing yourself in God's Word:

1. Your biceps will get ripped from lifting that heavy book every day: Not to mention that it will distract you from munching on Doritos for 10 minutes.
2. VeggieTales episodes will make more sense: Well, some of them will.
3. You might find a secret Bible code and find out when the end times begin: Gnarly!
4. You will see the parts that were inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien: And you'll much better understand the symbolism in Harry Potter.
5. Your wife will finally be able to dust the shelf your Bible has been sitting on for the last 12 years: Busted!
6. The Bible has more sex and violence than Game of Thrones: Bet you're curious now!
7. It's cheaper than therapy: It works better too.
8. You now have a super-spiritual excuse for hiding in the bathroom from your kids for 30 minutes: Maverick STOP! I'm reading the BIBLE!
9. You can finally read all the cool stuff Joel Osteen left out of his books: So much stuff.
10. If you read your Bible for 30 days straight, you'll win a pizza party in Heaven: What more do you need??
11. You'll finally find out if the Israelites made it out of slavery in Egypt: We won't spoil it for you.
12. You can find authoritative, irrefutable, profitable instruction from the benevolent, all-powerful, never-ending Creator of the universe: Joy. Read it for your joy.