8 Essential College Courses That Will Better Prepare You To Fight In WWIII

Babylon Bee🐝

As everyone knows, a very expensive college degree that will take decades of back-breaking work to pay off is essential if you want to be prepared for life's struggles-- including World War III!

Take a gander at these eight college courses that will better prepare you for life in the trenches:

1) Siberian Gender Studies: Know your enemy! They will not do you the courtesy of announcing their pronouns!

2) Intro to Shakespeare: If you're gonna die anyway, you may as well learn something beautiful first.

3) Atheism 101: They say there are no atheists in foxholes. Pshaw! Let's fix that.

4) Call of Duty In Your Dorm Room: Not technically a class, but you'll learn more here than anywhere else--especially how to properly pay respects to your fallen comrades.

5) Bunker Construction: An excellent minor for the aspiring architect.

6) Model UN: Learn to construct strongly worded notes that evil regimes will laugh at and throw in the trash!

7) Dismantling Heteronormative Christian Patriarchy In Russia And Beyond: No point in defending Ukraine if we can't take the opportunity to Build Back Better™.

8) Nuclear Physics: So you can explain exactly what's happening when your face is melting.

Remember, even if you die, you can serve a great purpose by validating your professor's political opinions as you attack enemy forces with progressive zeal. We're all in this together!