The Babylon Bee Presents: The 10 Commandments Of Wokeness
Thousands of years ago, God gave mankind his 10 Commandments which became the basis for law and Western Civilization. Unfortunately, it's been a long time since they were updated to be more suitable for modern audiences! NOT OK!
Thankfully, woke scholars have done just that! Here are the newly updated "woke" 10 Commandments.
1) Thou shalt have no other Gods before the all-powerful State (duh!)
2) Thou shalt not make for yourself any graven image (unless it's a giant bronze BLM raised fist you bow down to every morning)
3) Thou shalt not take the name of your Lord God in vain (unless you're reminding everyone that Jesus was actually a Socialist revolutionary)
4) Remember Pride Month, and keep it holy
5) Honor your father and your mother (unless they are evil MAGA racists. In that case, you should cancel them.)
6) Thou shalt not kill (Unless you're killing a fascist by beating them over the head with a "tolerance" sign)
7) Thou shalt not commit adultery (unless it's consensual)
8) Thou shalt not steal (unless you're looting a Nike shoe store for justice)
9) Thou shalt not bear false witness (unless you're living your truth!)
10) Thou shalt not covet (unless you are coveting the possessions of a rich white oppressor. Then, it's totally ok)
Post a Comment