10 Things That Are Worse Than The Civil War According To Joe Biden

Babylon Bee🐝

The American Civil War was pretty bad, but there are a lot of things that have happened since then. Some of them are even worse than the Civil War. Just ask Joe Biden. Over his short presidency, he has already compared all ten of these things to the Civil War: 

1. Republicans asking people to show ID at the polls - Literally just as bad as Gettysburg.

2. The Jan. 6 attack on the capitol, where millions died - Literally just as bad as Antietam.

3. His favorite ice cream shop being out of chocolate chocolate chip - Biden freaked out over this one, calling it "the worst attack on democracy since Lincoln was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald."

4. Matlock getting canceled - Hoo boy, was he furious about this.

5. That one time a reporter asked him an actual question - The one time this happened in all of human history, he said it was "just like that Gettysburg thing."

6. "You know, the thing!" - We aren't sure what he was talking about here, but it was definitely worse than the Civil War.

7. Taco Bell discontinuing the Caramel Apple Empanada - OK, he's got a point here.

8. Catholic priests denying him Communion for not believing Catholic things - A true outrage and definitely worse than the ACW.

9. When the world was destroyed in World War 3 back in February 2020 - You probably don't even remember this war between us and Iran. Because you're dead.

10. The New York Post reporting on his son's laptop - Pickett's Charge has nothing on this national tragedy.

Is Joe right about these? What things have happened in your life that are worse than the Civil War? Let us know in the comments!