Existing, And 6 Other Things You Didn't Know Were Microaggressions

Babylon Bee🐝

Yes, it's 2021, and we're still talking about microaggressions. You know why? Because there is always room to DO BETTER. We want to improve, and we know you do too. Here are some things you may not have known are microaggressions:

Punching someone with a very tiny fist: Punching someone is typically seen as a "macroaggression," but when done with a tiny little fist, it becomes a microaggression. Always be aware of this if you have very tiny hands. Unless you're punching a Nazi. Then it's OK. 

Setting fire to someone's business with them inside: Admit it-- we've all done this at one time or another! Sometimes when we get caught up in the heat of the moment while protesting injustice, we toss a Molotov cocktail through a window. Did you know that can be seen as a microaggression if the owner is a person of color? Just something to be aware of.

Breathing: Breathing can be a microaggression. The person is saying, “I am a white oppressor stealing your air and breathing toxic, problematic CO2 all over you because you are an inferior BIPOC and you should literally die.” All of that -- without ever speaking a word. Wow! Talk about violence!

Existing: Existing is a really bad microaggression, even worse than breathing. Every second you exist, you hatefully occupy space that could be occupied by an oppressed minority. Welp, sorry, man, but there’s only one way to take care of this microaggression if you really want to be an ally to people of color! See you in the next life, sucka!

Lacking melanin: If you find yourself having less melanin than others around you, stop. Look. Listen. Be more considerate of your skin color. Be less white (without, you know, doing blackface or anything. That’s even worse).

Having a black friend: If you have a black friend, that’s a clear microaggression against BIPOC individuals around you. You’re basically saying “your only value is as a token minority to make me feel better about myself.”

Not having a black friend: If you don’t have a black friend, that’s a clear microaggression against BIPOC individuals around you. You’re basically saying “black people don’t exist and I don’t care about you at all.”

Now-- go forth and BE BETTER.