WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden has been removed from the White House for
evaluation by a team of physicians after biting one of the aides.
"We
are so shocked," said Chief of Staff Ron Klain of the incident. "He has
always been so docile and well behaved-- always limiting his
interactions to sniffing and friendly licks. He's never bitten anyone
like this."
Experts have suggested that the new environment and
activity has been traumatizing to the President, and are suggesting
adjusting his diet and perhaps a few weeks at obedience school to remedy
the situation.
"Worst case scenario, we may have to put him
down," said Dr. Kevin O’Connor, the White House physician. "Hopefully it
doesn't come to that, but sometimes these things happen."
Vice
President Kamala Harris has assured the American people that Biden will
be sent to a nice farm upstate where he can run free.
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