2020 Festivus Report
Annual report by Senator Rand Paul
2020 Festivus Report
Asks why stress makes hair turn grey (NIH) .................... $36,831,620.00
Tries to get Eastern Mediterranean youth to stop smoking hookah (NIH) .................. $1,471,617.00
Used cancer research money to create a “smart toilet” (NIH) ....................................... $6,973,057.00
Tried to get adults to stop watching so much TV (NIH) ................................................. $1,246,507.00
Gives cigarettes to adolescent kids (NIH) ............. $896,994.00
Sent messages to moms to stoptheir teenage girls from indoor tanning (NIH) ........... $3,452,234.00
Funded an allegedly faked study linking e-cigarettes to heart attacks (NIH) .............. $31,522,224.00
Interviewed San Franciscans about their edible cannabis use (NIH) ............................. $3,125,768.00
Gave federal employees duplicative Medicare customer service access (RRB) ........ $217,000,000.00¾
Tested if hot tubbing can lower stress (NIH) ...... $2,004,704.00
Develops a master’s degree in research ethics in Myanmar (NIH) .......................... $968,932.00
Helps justify the FDA’s Deeming Rule (NIH)...................... $3,696,770.00
Appropriated millions to the Urban Indian Health Programs (Congress) .................. $57,684,000.00
Tries to help people get over their fears of going to the dentist (NIH) .......................... $1,039,554.00
Studied the prevalence of party drug use at NYC clubs and raves (NIH) ...................... $1,454,217.00
Waited for years on delinquent undelivered orders (VA) ............$3,496,302,352.00
Studied the effect of sleepiness on diet, physical activity, and obesity in kids (NIH) ...... $787,355.00
Spent billions inAfghanistan on counternarcotics efforts .... $8,620,000,000.00
Funds classes for Kenyan artists and performers (State) .... $150,000.00
Planned Olympic-themed events in Singapore .................$75,000.00
Supports Sri Lankan think tanks ........... $800,000.00
Spends millions to help deal with truant Filipino youth (USAID)$37,500,000.00
Teaches English to rural unemployed Romanians (State) ... $25,000.00
Put on theatrical plays in Mumbai (State) ............. $30,000.00
Spends 5 years monitoring elections in Zimbabwe (USAID) ....... $10,000,000.00
Seeks to start a venture capital fund for bad investments (USAID) $2,000,000.00
Helps disconnected Tunisian youth not feel like a problem (USAID) ............... $48,000,000.00
Sends Russians to American community colleges for a “gap year” (State) ............ $3,250,000.00
Sets up book clubs for Pakistani and Afghan kids (State) ....... $200,000.00
Subsidizes Tunisian Chambers of Commerce (State)..$700,000.00
Walked lizards on a treadmill (NSF) ..................$1,557,083.00
Funds the Boating Infrastructure Grant Program (FWS) ..... $13,545,889.40
Bought public transit buses for localities (FTA) ............... $129,956,625.00
Studied how people cooperate whileplaying e-sport video games (NSF) ........................ $199,864.00
Hired “interns” to do busy work (NPS) ............................... $57,576.75
Studied how New Yorkers abided by New York City COVID lockdowns (NSF) .......... $199,995.00
Taught students in Washington about disputed climate science (NSF) ........................... $487,528.00
Subsidizes an insect ranching company’s R&D efforts (NSF) .. $1,304,454.00
Develops a wearable headset to track eating behavior (NSF)............. $2,075,074.00
Studies how food options change when a neighborhood is revitalized (NSF) ............... $260,000.00
Spent decades trying unsuccessfully to replace the Bradley (DOD) ................... $23,900,000,000.00
Bungled building a drone base in Niger (USAFRICOM and USAF) ........................ $110,000,000.00
Built unsafe infrastructure in Afghanistan (Army Corps of Engineers) .....$4,500,000.00
Repurposed COVID response funds for unrelated acquisitions (DOD) .............. $1,000,000,000.00
Lost equipment designated for Syrians fighting ISIS (DOD) ...... $715,800,000.00
Spent millions on STARBASE (DOD) .................... $35,000,000.00
Lost drones over Afghanistan (DOD) ...................... $174,000,000.00
Built a police complex lacking power that is not used (Army Corps of Engineers) ..... $3,100,000.00
Rebuilt a taxiway for airplanes on Nantucket Island (FAA)......... $19,999,869.00
Bought COVID test tubes but received unusable soda bottles (FEMA) .................... $10,502,997.50
Bought vehicles for State and local law enforcement agencies (USMS) ...................... $53,900,000.00
Built 3bicycle storage facilities at D.C. Metro stations (Metro) ..... $5,966,180.00
Prepared bugs for you to eat (NSF and DARPA) ......... $2,819,702.02
Sprayed alcoholic rats with bobcat urine(NIH and VA) ....... $4,575,431.00
Allowed States to take advantage of TANF rules (Congress) ................................ $16,500,000,000.00
Overspent on pre-fab housing and water pumps in Texas (FEMA) $182,000,000.00_______________________________
TAXPAYER DOLLARS WASTED: $54,746,524,505.37Military,Environment, Energy, Science
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