Dear Canada, have I got a proposal for you!
I read last night in the New York Post that Canada is seeing such an upswing of COVID patients, it is threatening to overwhelm their health system.
Damn that Donald Trump!
And rather than criticize Canada for its government-run healthcare, I thought I might present to them a modest proposal for getting their COVID outbreak under control.
Let’s send Andrew Cuomo to Canada.
As the media and Hollywood love to remind us, he’s done such an Ah-mazing job here in New York. No doubt he could save Canada lickety-split.
And just to show how generous we are, we’ll toss in his brother Chris as well. How’s that sound, Canada?
Think of Chris as a gift with purchase, you know, like soap-on-a-rope. Or, in this case, dope-on-a-rope. But you get the idea.
Andrew and Chris can bring their world-famous nightly comedy routine to Canada. I’m sure it will be just as well-received there as it is here.
Of course they’ll have to modify it a bit for their Canadian audience. But that’s easy. Just adopt phrases like “take off!” or “ya hoser!” while tossing in an “aboot” or two, and those Canucks of the Great White North will be putty in their hands.
It’ll be awesome!
Sure, it would be a sacrifice on the part of New Yorkers having to say farewell to il Douche Cuomo. But we’ll muddle through.
In fact, we can just grab the first random guy we see on the street and have him take over.
Everybody wins!
Well, everybody except Canada. Canada will be stuck with the Cuomo boys.
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