McGruff The Crime Dog Put Down

Babylon Bee🐝

NEW YORK, NY—In response to a growing anti-police sentiment, McGruff the Crime Dog has been taken to the vet and put down.

“We just didn’t feel safe with him around,” said activist Ray Clarke, one of the people who demanded McGruff be euthanized. “He was always urging people to ‘Take a bite out of crime,’ and we don’t need more violence like that from law enforcement. He has to die.”

McGruff had long educated people on measures they can take against crime but had recently been criticized for not caring about the racial disparity of his bites out of crime and for his association with the police. That’s why euthanizing McGruff became a part of “defunding the police,” even though technically it was a measure that cost more money (the vet charged $150).

Defenders of McGruff argued that McGruff could just be retired and live on a farm working as a P.I. instead of being put down -- or that at least they didn’t need to tell McGruff he was a “bad, bad dog” before the injection, but activists wouldn’t relent, and the euthanization happened as planned. A small memorial was erected for McGruff, and it has already been vandalized.