He loves, he loves, he loves his Calendar Girls

Of all the analogies Joe Biden could’ve used to describe his search for a running mate, is anyone surprised he came up with calendar models?

Patriot Retort

Move over Neil Sedaka.  There’s a new calendar girls lover in town.

On Monday, the New York Times quoted Joe Biden comparing the search for his perfect running mate to searching for calendar models.

Yeah, really.

When I first heard the story, after I finished singing “I love, I love, I love my calendar girls! Yeah, sweet calendar girls!” I got a queasy feeling in my stomach. Mostly because the first picture that popped into my head was Elizabeth Warren dressed as a sexy librarian seductively telling the boys to “Shhhhh!”

It was such a horrifying mental image, I couldn’t even bring myself to Photoshop it.

Hey, even I have my limits.

My second choice – Governor “Karen” Whitmer dressed in a sexy fascist costume – failed for the same reason.  On a side note, there is such a thing as a sexy fascist costume.  Who knew?!

So after a few pointless, puke-inducing attempts, I finally settled on a beach blanket motif starring Thirsty Rerun Abrams.

Okay, I admit; that’s not much better than Librarian Liz or Sexy Fascist Whitmer.

That was the problem I had, if you want to know the truth.  From a bikini-clad Amy Klobuchar hurling binders to Kamala on her knees — every idea I came up with was either puke-inducing or pornographic.

Blame it on Joe.  This is the problem with comparing your search for a running mate to calendar girls.

You’d think a guy facing a credible accusation of sexual assault who vowed to choose a female running mate would find a better analogy to describe his selection process.

But it’s pervy, lecherous Joe.

Inappropriate, badly timed analogies should be expected.