Steve Cohen is the ugliest man in Congress

Patriot Retort

So there’s the video of Congressman Steve Cohen on CNN calling New Jersey Congressman Jeff Van Drew a traitor for leaving the Democrat Party over this Shampeachment.  I had to watch the video three times before I was able to pay attention to what Cohen had to say.  Because, honestly, the guy is hands down the ugliest man in Congress.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say Steve Cohen is the ugliest man in the history of Congress.

Look at that face.

Can you blame me for being distracted?

Steve fell out of the ugly tree and hit every single branch on his way down.

How can I possibly pay attention to a word he says when I’m too busy wondering if he’s a descendent of Quasimodo.

Honestly, Democrats.  If you want Americans to pay attention to your stupid impeachment push, pick a semi-attractive member of your caucus as your spokesperson.  I realize that doesn’t leave you with many choices.  But come on.

Why on earth do you insist on putting aesthetically-challenged people like Maxine Waters, Jerry Nadler and Quasimodo Cohen on TV?

One of the reasons I found that whole “I’m gonna each chicken” stunt of his so nauseating was Steve Cohen is already the ugliest man in Congress.  Why on earth would I want to watch him eat?

Eating never improves one’s look.  Ever.

And when you start out looking like the hunchback of Notre Dame, devouring chicken like a half-starved hyena isn’t going to transform you into People’s Sexiest Man Alive.

Though I bet one look at that picture and the Elephant Man would probably feel pretty good about himself.

Yeah, I know.  There is so much to get irritated over regarding this ridiculous shampeachment. And Steve Cohen being the ugliest man in Congress isn’t very high on the list.

But optics matter.

And as it stands, the Democrats’ optics here really stink.

I mean look at these guys.

Have you ever seen a more sullen, unattractive collection of people in your life?  The only way this picture could’ve been more unattractive is if Steve Cohen was in it.

Okay. I’m done.