State Department Issues Travel Advisory For New York City

Babylon Bee🐝 

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the city's election of an avowed and unrepentant socialist, the U.S. State Department issued an immediate and urgent travel advisory for New York City.

According to Secretary of State Marco Rubio, New York City had become too dangerous for any casual tourists to visit.

"As of this morning, the State Department has chosen to issue a 'Level 4: Do Not Travel' advisory for New York," Rubio said at a press conference. "Because of significant threats to life and limb, U.S. citizens are advised to avoid any non-essential and even most necessary travel to New York. Should such visits prove absolutely necessary, travelers should arrive prepared with combat helmets, bulletproof vests, and any necessary air support on speed dial."

Officials within the administration confirmed that it simply wouldn't be right to allow Americans to travel to such a dangerous place without warning them beforehand.

"It's no Afghanistan — or worse, L.A. — but New York will get there pretty soon," said one White House insider. "Americans should get out of there before things really start to fall apart. May God have mercy on those poor souls who are currently being trapped under the Mamdani regime."

At publishing time, matters in New York had escalated so quickly that senior military leaders were debating whether to launch a ground offensive to liberate the city.