User Kicked Off Bluesky For Not Violently Threatening JD Vance

Babylon Bee🐝 

U.S. — According to sources, Bluesky user @stephan34.bsky.social was banned for violating the social media platform's terms of service by not violently threatening Vice President JD Vance.

Vance, who joined Bluesky on Wednesday, caused controversy when he shared a quote from a recent United States Supreme Court ruling. His account was temporarily suspended as a result. After being reinstated, the lives of the vice president and his family were threatened by everyone on the platform — everyone, that is, except Stephan34, an anonymous account from Ohio.

"I was logged out at the time!" Stephan34 told moderators as he attempted to repeal the ban. "I didn't know, okay? I didn't know! I'll totally wish physical harm on the vice president! Just give me another chance!"

Bluesky maintained a zero-tolerance policy against users who refuse to bully conservative accounts, including but not limited to the vice president of the United States. Trust & Safety Lead Wilxa Mandarin (zer/zerself) said zer hands were tied. "The decision is final. We can't afford to allow users on the platform that create a welcoming and inclusive environment for conservatives," Mandarin said. "Bluesky is about inspiring progressive change through terror."

At publishing time, Stephan34 had been allowed back on Bluesky after doxxing several Republican congressmen and pledging to kill their families.