Disgruntled Churchgoers Hold Up Protest Paddles
Disgruntled Churchgoers Hold Up Protest Paddles
BLOOMINGTON, IN — The disaffected congregation of First Baptist Bloomingdale has decided to register their complaints silently by holding up little signs on paddles throughout the worship service.
The signs will communicate various messages of protest to the pastoral leadership, such as "Music Too Loud", "Wrap It Up", and "I Disagree."
"Ugh, the pastors keep it freezing in here. Hand me that 'It's Too Cold' sign," said local parishioner Jennifer Dawn. "This is so much better than waiting to complain to some committee. You get to really let the pastors know everything you don't like in real time. Wait, what did he say about spiritual gifts? Give me my 'I Disagree' sign."
According to sources, the congregation has continued to expand production of signs as new issues arise each week. "Last week the dish of peppermints at the sanctuary entrance was empty, so we made 'Where Are The Mints?' signs," explained parishioner Barry Loudon. "Also, they just have a worship band instead of a choir because they couldn't recruit enough people for the choir. So, we also added 'We Want Choirs, Not Noise' signs. It's small, but we're doing our part."
At publishing time, the worship pastor had admitted that he still had not seen any of the signs as he had his eyes closed the whole time he was singing.
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