Trump Reminds Colombian President He Wants Two Coats Of Wax On His Limousine

Babylon Bee🐝

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a brief dust-up and threats of a trade war over the weekend stemming from the U.S.'s new policy of rounding up and returning illegal aliens to their countries of origin, Donald Trump was overheard reminding Colombian President Gustavo Petro that he wanted two coats of wax on his limousine.

President Petro had reportedly offered to fly in early Monday morning and wash Trump's presidential limousine in an effort to smooth things over after initially standing in defiance of Trump's goal of repatriating Colombian nationals who had entered the U.S. illegally.

"Just remember, Gustavo, that's two coats of wax on the limo, okay?" Trump was heard shouting outside. "I want that limousine to look like a big, beautiful mirror. No limo should be shinier. The secret is the two coats. Always two coats. If I find out you only put one coat, I'll bring back the tariffs. You don't want that. I don't want that. Let's just do this the easy way. Two coats of wax, Gustavo."

Witnesses at the White House confirmed that President Petro quickly responded with an obedient "¡Sí! ¡Sí, Señor Presidente Trump! ¡Dos capas de cera!"

A Trump administration insider confirmed that the president had compiled a list of more chores for Petro to do, including mowing the White House lawn, picking up Trump's dry cleaning, and making a run to McDonald's for a Big Mac and Diet Coke.

At publishing time, reports circulated that Trump also demanded that Petro officially change the spelling of Colombia to "Columbia" so people would stop spelling it incorrectly.