Democrats Order Flags To Be Flown At Half-Staff As Trump Still Alive

Babylon Bee🐝

U.S. — The mood on Capitol Hill was somber today, as congressional leaders joined Democrats across the nation in ordering flags to be flown at half-staff as former President Donald Trump was tragically not killed in an assassination attempt over the weekend.

Lawmakers on the left side of the political aisle admitted that it had been an emotional and difficult few days, with several prominent Democrats saying they didn't know if they would be able to continue with their normal duties after Trump sadly escaped being murdered by an assassin at a Pennsylvania campaign rally.

"We're all pretty broken up," admitted Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who had trouble holding back tears. "We never envisioned a day where we would be standing here mourning Trump's lack of being assassinated… but here we are. We will get through this. We will pick ourselves back up again. We will move forward in our sorrow… and we will get back to the important business of calling Trump a fascist and Hitler and a threat to the very existence of our country."

Democrats at all levels of government across the United States planned candlelight vigils in multiple states to mourn Trump's survival. "It was a day we will all look back on with great sadness," said Missouri Democrat Mike Hamra. "The tragedy of Trump not being killed will haunt us all for the rest of our lives."

At publishing time, Democrats urged their supporters to keep pressing on through this difficult time and move toward a brighter future where they could once again stoke the fire of political violence by branding their opponents as dangerous extremists.