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Keep American Troops The Hell Out Of Haiti


You can already hear the same old scam revving up, this time about Haiti – yet again. I remember 30 years ago when we were going to fix Haiti. And since I read history, I know about 100 years ago when we were also going to fix Haiti. Now, our garbage ruling class is on the verge of demanding we try to fix Haiti yet again. Spoiler – you can’t fix Haiti. And it’s not worth one single American life trying to.

That’s not to say Haiti isn’t a mess and that we shouldn’t provide some humanitarian aid. Look, Haiti had it hard from the beginning. It was a French colony of slaves, so that’s two strikes right there. They overthrew the French, a military victory for which they are quite proud even though kicking frog le bootay is an achievement on par with beating Chris Christie in a breakdance competition. And from then on, it was chaos broken only by extended periods of cruel and rapacious dictatorship. Under Bill Clinton, we went in to fix things. Afterward, Bill and Hillary stuck around to exploit the country even more through their corrupt foundation. Our ruling class in action!

Not surprisingly, things are much, much worse now. Remember the Hollywood hacks with their “Haiti Is Already Great” t-shirts – their response when President Trump accurately and colorfully assessed it as less a country than a giant latrine? Its leftist boosters are now long gone, because Haiti is manifestly not great. How not great? The most powerful guy in the country today is someone named “Barbecue.” That’s because he barbecues his opponents. Yeah, cannibalism is on the menu. According to the regime media, you are not supposed to say that because it’s racist, but really, you’re not supposed to say that because it’s true.

Basically, Haiti is what every Democrat blue city is going to be in about ten years if we don’t elect Donald Trump in November. Welcome to the inevitable end-state of defund the police. I’m not sure Eric Adams meant that when he crowed that people call New York City America’s Port Au Prince, but is anyone going to be shocked when we see a Twitter viral video of some mutant gnawing on an elbow in the subway?

But Haiti is something else as well – it is not our problem.

Yes, I understand that it’s fashionable in faculty lounges and around Washington to blame America for everything bad in the world. We’re all-powerful, and we somehow trump the agency of other peoples. Our elite views the Haitians like children, never holding them responsible for their own unspeakable savagery. Therefore, the elite reasons, it’s up to us to go fix their problems, yet again, no doubt expending a ton of money that we would have to print and the lives of a bunch of troops the elite folks sending them there have never met.

Here’s my test for any military operation. Could I sit down with the mother of a paratrooper from Omaha, Nebraska, and explain to her why her son in the 82nd Airborne got killed for Haiti? I could explain that for Afghanistan 1.0 when we were slaughtering Al Qaeda. I could explain it for Kosovo as well, a humanitarian intervention that largely succeeded (though the present administration is busy blowing it). And I could explain it about Desert Storm – the last major war we won, by the way. Notably, Desert Storm wasn’t about trying to make Third World barbarians into peaceful democratic citizens. It was about making Third World barbarians into peaceful dead ones, which is the proper job of our military. 

But the other misadventures over the last three decades, from Iraq to Afghanistan 2.0 to Somalia to Benghazi? No, I’m not able to come up with a satisfactory explanation for why our people died in those places. And I could not give a good explanation of why a young man should die in Haiti. So that tells me something.

We’ve got no damn business going into Haiti.

Which means we will almost certainly be going into Haiti.

Yes, the altruism and charity of the ruling class know no bounds. They’re such moral paragons, always willing to sacrifice the young men and women of the people they look down upon as raging extremists. And fighting for Haiti doesn’t have the baggage of actually fighting for America, which is convenient since our ruling class hates America. Our troops aren’t even allowed to secure our own country – our borders are wide open, and even the loathsome Christopher Wray thinks that we’re going to see an attack on par with the one I chronicled in my latest bestseller. They are not allowed to secure our blue cities either – and when the Dems send in troops as a dog-and-pony show to give the impression they are doing something about our Haiti-like urban chaos, our warriors can’t even carry their standard weapons. We’re not allowed to fight the Palestinians who murdered Americans and are holding them hostage. In fact, our troops actually have to help these monsters. And we’re not allowed to fight the Iranians, who killed our soldiers and have not suffered the appropriate vengeance. We’re basically not allowed to do anything that promotes America’s interest. Intervening in Haiti is the opposite of being in America’s interest, so you can be sure the idiots of our ruling class are going to be clamoring for an invasion soon enough.

They’re going to tell us it’s our moral duty. They’re going to tell us we have a moral obligation. They’re going to tell us we need to do it or we will be flooded by illegal aliens – like they think that’s a bug instead of a feature. And they’re going to tell us to shut up because we are racist. But what we really are is tired of seeing our blood and treasure spilled in the pursuit of our elite’s narcissism. We’re not going to fix Haiti. Haiti doesn’t want to be fixed. If Haiti wanted to be fixed, Haiti would fix itself. It’s had a couple of centuries to do that, and it’s taken a pass.

So far, only a few voices have come out and started publicly clamoring for intervention. But the regime media is laying the propaganda foundation and you know it’s coming. And you also know there will be Republicans who clap along like train seals when the Democrats decide to again send mostly young sons and daughters of Republicans into harm’s way without a defined mission, without the support they need, and with rules of engagement that tie their hands behind their backs. Do you imagine Joe Biden is not stupid enough to do this? This is the idiot who wants to put a pier on a beach in Gaza in the middle of a war to the death. The only question is whether more young Americans will get killed bailing out Hamas from the retribution it so richly deserves or trying to quell roving gangs of lunatics in Port Au Prince. The only difference is in one place, they’ll take our people hostage, and in the other, they’ll take our people out to lunch –  as the main course.

No, what we’re going to do is get in there and get our people exposed to those heavily armed sociopaths, and a bunch of our people are going to come home in body bags. You need to understand that the rules of engagement will keep our people from defending themselves. They won’t be able to shoot savages approaching them with weapons. They will have to wait until they start taking fire and casualties. Mark my words. There is a 100% chance their lives will be unnecessarily put on the line in order to avoid the crusty commander-in-chief having to explain why our troopers killed a whole mess of Haitian gang members. This is a morally illiterate administration, one that sides with Hamas over the Israelis because it’s terrified that it’s going to lose the Muslim vote in Michigan. It’s going to hamstring out fighters because it thinks that the Haitian voters here would be outraged that the criminals at home were killed by Americans, though the Haitian ex-pats would probably celebrate it and be right to do so.

And we’re going to be there for a while, and Americans are going to get killed for nothing, and a bunch of Haitians is going to get rich, as well as the contractors who will support this operation, and then eventually we’re going to pull out, and Haiti will go back to being Haiti once again.

Do you know what’s going to fix Haiti? Haitian bayonets. You know what’s never going to fix Haiti? American bayonets. Why the hell can’t we learn from our mistakes? Oh yeah, right, we have the most incredibly stupid, corrupt, and self-aggrandizing ruling class in American history. So, count on another disastrous military misadventure. And vote for Donald Trump to save our soldiers.