Military Gear: The Worst (and Best) From the Perspective of a Cold Warrior

posted by Ward Clark at RedState 

Since WW2, the U.S. military has been pretty lavishly equipped (at least, until recently), but there are some items of military hardware and general issue that we'd rather forget. Anyone who has worn Uncle Sam's colors knows about this. Some of the ideas of the people who develop military equipment and personal gear are so harebrained that you have to seriously wonder what, at the end of the day, they are really trying to accomplish.

Whether it’s something like canteens or those leather glove shells, U.S. service members are no strangers to gear that is a hassle to use, a hassle to store, and a hassle to turn in when you’re done with it. 

Everyone’s opinions on this may differ. Maybe your shoulders are still a little sore from wearing one of those old load bearing vests. Maybe your ears are still ringing despite your usage of 3M earplugs. Maybe you’re even a contrarian and just don’t like your woobie. 

Last week, we asked Task & Purpose readers what their least favorite, most useless piece of issued equipment was. 

Some of the equipment discussed therein is after my time in the service, but anyone of late Cold War vintage, like me, has their own personal list of the worst junk the U.S. Army ever issued. Here are some of mine.

1. The angle-neck flashlight. Unreliable, heavy, and went through batteries like crap through a goose. I never used one after Basic, when we had no choice; those got left behind when we deployed, and almost everyone I knew bought a mini-Maglite with a red filter and carried those instead.
2. OD raincoat and rain pants. We called them "snivel gear" but more often "puke gear" because of the smell that never, ever went away.
3. The Gama Goat. This was a real abomination, a tactical vehicle (as in, intended for use in combat) that was a six-by-six, articulated monstrosity in which the driver sat in a canvas-covered cab over a fuel tank. Maintenance people hated it, but soldiers really detested it.
4. The Extreme Cold Weather Sleeping Bag was first issued in the mid-'70s. This was supposedly a down bag, but in fact, I'm pretty certain it was filled with chicken feathers, with some of the chickens still attached. This thing was rated to -20, meaning that at these temps the bag might prevent you from actually freezing to death - then again, it might not. Every morning you crawled out of the bag smelling like someone who had just driven a truck full of chickens into a mothball factory.
5. Woolen cold weather underwear. This stuff, I am convinced to this day, was the result of a Communist plot to render U.S. troops combat-ineffective by driving them mad scratching.
6. Mosquito netting. These were made to delay the attacks by mosquitoes by prompting them to fall to the ground laughing. After a few moments they would recover, ring the dinner bell, and you would find yourself the main course for a mosquito banquet.
7. The ALICE pack. Not a bad piece when used as luggage, but one of the worst to use as a backpack. Lots of us came to associate the rattling and squeaking of the ALICE pack frame as the accompanying sound on a road march until it was replaced by the rattling and squeaking of our backs.
8. Black leather gloves with liners. These things were terrible. The liners were so thin as to be non-existent, and the black leather shells so stiff that, when trying to carry out ordinary tasks that require opposable thumbs, you felt like you were trying to manipulate your gear with two ping-pong paddles.

The list could go on endlessly (and feel free to put some of your own in the comments), but, as do most veterans, I have a couple of winners as well: pieces of equipment and gear that were a soldier's best friend.

1. The M-65 Field Jacket. This was a Vietnam-era jacket, into which could be buttoned a quilted liner. These things were great - lots of pockets, heavy, water-resistant (especially when sprayed with Sno-Seal,) and warm. They even had epaulets for the coveted "green tab" that were authorized to those of us assigned to Infantry divisions (I wore one as a Medical Platoon Leader in an Infantry battalion). I still have a couple of these around, although they seem to have inexplicably shrunk over the years. Some complained about them in truly cold weather, which they weren't intended for, but in temps from freezing up to about 60, even in wet weather, they were great.
2. The M1911AI pistol. I was issued one of these during my brief stint as a Company Aidman. I can't find enough good things to say about John Browning's great work. Powerful, reliable, decent ergonomics and sights for a martial sidearm; with the possible exception of another Browning work, the High Power, it is probably the best military sidearm ever made.
3. The M-1950 Lensatic Compass. With one of these, a decent map, a protractor, and some experience in land navigation, one could never get lost - you just had to make sure to keep them away from Second Lieutenants. They worked, and you didn't have to rely on GPS that could conceivably be knocked out or interfered with.
4. Poncho liners. Nobody ever used one of these to line a poncho. They were great for wrapping up and sleeping in mild weather; they could be used to pad stuff in a field chest or rucksack. The good old poncho liner has a million uses. They're handy enough that I still, many years later, keep several around, including one in each vehicle, and I even keep one for evenings in front of the television.

Only yesterday we discussed an incident that took place on a Christmas long ago, which set the standard for fortitude and resolve for the U.S. military ever since. Our troops have at times worked wonders with inadequate equipment, but adequate equipment is always better, even for a POGUE (Personnel On Ground with Unused Equipment.) Political winds may blow hot and cold (one could argue that at the present moment, they blow senile), but the needs of the troops don't change. Good equipment and especially tech, as our Israeli allies are showing us right now, can be a great force multiplier.

But equipment as mundane as a decent cold-weather jacket, a flashlight that works every time, a canteen that doesn't make your water taste like you sucked it out of an old tire, and a vehicle that provides decent protection, those things are necessary, too. But then, those things don't give us old vets anything to contribute when a bunch of us are gathered around playing the "No s***, there I was" game.