9 Things Men Will Do Instead Of Going To Therapy

Babylon Bee🐝

Our effeminate culture keeps trying to push men to talk about their feelings and go to something lame-sounding called "therapy". While this might work for today's beta male, old-school, 100% genuine REAL men have better ways of overcoming challenges in their lives.

Here are 9 much more effective methods to dealing with your problems than lame ol' sissy therapy.

1. Take a few whacks at the batting cages: Recent studies have shown swinging for the fences is more therapeutic than talking about your feelings.
2. Play a 7-hour game of Axis & Allies with the fellas: Push the pain deep down inside and make the blitz toward Moscow.
3. Sip a beer and watch a sunset while commenting on the foliage: "Them junipers are comin' in niiice and green, eh, Lenny?"
4. Stuff it all down in a dark little ball inside: The tried-and-true therapy of our ancestors.
5. Pick up something heavy: Repeat a bunch of times. Grunt. Sweat. Then pick up more heavy things.
6. Go on a quick trip to the gun range: As you sight in your rifle on the bullseye, you'll really be sighting in on your heart.
7. Demolish a countertop: It's time for a "demo day" - of your problems.
8. Buy a social media company and then launch the largest rocket of all time into space: Soothe the inner voices, whatever it takes.
9. Look up at a passing helicopter: It really makes everything OK.

We hope this helps you go another week without all that "talking about your feelings" nonsense – see you at the gun range, golf course, or on the barbells.