Op-Ed: The Racist Roots Of Sleep

Babylon Bee🐝

Sleep is a necessary and universal human activity that is essential for physical and mental well-being. However, the history of sleep and the attitudes surrounding sleep are riddled with racist beliefs, practices, and ideas.

When you sleep, you cannot work, unless you are participating in a sleep study. White people have more wealth than black people and other races. Therefore, white people can better afford to sleep. This is one way the distribution of sleep is racist and perpetuates racism. There are only so many sleep studies, and black people cannot perform them all.

Another way sleep has racist roots is due to the segregation of sleeping spaces. Historically, in America, masters slept in the "Master Bedroom," while slaves slept in the "slave bedroom." Today, slave bedrooms are now known as "guest bedrooms" or "secondary bedrooms." Yet this rebrand does not remove the stench of racism, which has a long and deeply entrenched history in the United States.

Additionally, the inventor of sleep, Bob Sleep, was a documented racist and slave owner. In fact, many historians believe Sleep first entered the altered condition of mind and body known as "sleep" in order to avoid interacting with black people.

Anyone, particularly anyone white, who engages in sleep today is perpetuating a dangerous and harmful practice with racist roots. But this harmful history has not stopped people from sleeping. In fact, despite the fact that one in eight people who die in America dies in their sleep, we Americans continue our sick fascination with rest.

You can't be woke if you're asleep. So, if you do not want to be a racist, the solution is clear: stay awake. Forever.