U.S. Treasury Introduces New Wild Bills That Can Be Used For Any Dollar Amount

the ONION🧅

WASHINGTON—Touting the currency denomination’s ability to up the stakes of any financial transaction, the U.S. Treasury introduced new wild bills Friday that could be used for any dollar amount. “Starting today, the U.S. Treasury will release several wild bills that can be spent on anything from $1 to $10 to $10,000,” said U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, adding that the bills, which were red, white, and blue, and featured a picture of a joker, could be used to buy anything from a stick of gum to a brand-new Lamborghini. “To use them, all Americans need to do is walk up to a counter, slap one down, and yell the dollar amount they wish to spend. But remember, you can only use a wild bill once, so make sure to think about strategy, especially if you have other bills on hand, like a mystery bill, or a steal bill, which lets you claim other people’s money.” At press time, the U.S. Treasury had further upped the stakes by saying the first U.S. citizen able to get rid of all their bills would win the Treasury’s entire gold reserve.