7 Ways Drag Shows Are Actually Good For Kids

Babylon Bee🐝

Many transphobic conservatives will refuse to send their sons and daughters to drag queen story hour just because they don't want a grown man in lingerie spending time with their kids. But did you know there are many benefits to drag shows?

We consulted Queer Studies experts and David French to bring you the 7 reasons drag shows are actually good for your kids.

1. Nothing on Halloween will seem remotely scary anymore: Your kids will no longer run away and cry at that Jason costume after witnessing Priscilla Twerksalot in full makeup.
2. They'll definitely believe in the doctrine of total depravity: It's never too early to teach them sound theology.
3. It's an easy spot for cops to round up pedos: Obviously.
4. They'll have plenty to talk about in therapy later: Wouldn't want their expensive therapy sessions to be boring!
5. You can use it as a threat to keep them in line: "If you sass me one more time you're off to the drag show!"
6. Being exposed to Monkeypox at a young age helps develop natural immunity: Gotta build up those antibodies.
7. Since kids are little rebels, they'll end up rebelling against their insane groomer parents and becoming good, conservative traditionalists: Reverse psychology, baby!

Well, what are you waiting for? Take your kids to a drag show today, and then please turn yourself in to the local police at once.