10 Undeniable Proofs That Mask Mandates Work

Babylon Bee🐝

Still don't believe mask mandates work? Over and over, we've screamed "DIE, YOU SCIENCE DENIER!" in your face, and yet you still doubt the science. 

Once and for all, we bring you indisputable scientific proof that mask mandates just work, period:

1) Look at this simple bar graph: SCIENCE.

2) Florida never imposed mask mandates, and now they’re all dead: It is literally a barren wasteland of corpses lying on the beach, playing pickleball, going to restaurants, etc.

3) Intellectual juggernauts from “The View” say so: Not even the brilliant AOC would dare challenge the incomparable wisdom of the show’s co-hosts.

4) The COVID can't get into your body if you literally can't breathe: Mandates: 1, COVID: 0.

5) Very low rates of infection among old-timey stagecoach robbers: Have you ever heard of an old western robber dying of COVID? No, you haven't. There's a reason for that. 

6) The science is settled. Until it changes: But if you question it now, you’re anti-science, even if the science later agrees with you.

7) Residents of Antarctica wear face coverings outdoors: Zero COVID.

8) All the politicians and celebrities follow the mandates, and they know best: Hell will freeze over before we hear of an elected official breaking their own mask mandate.

9) If it doesn't work, why is it mandated by the government? Checkmate.

10) The CDC has reams of scientific studies proving mask mandates work: And they will happily publish them in 75 years.