Progressive Church Announces New Drag Queen Bible Story Hour

Babylon Bee🐝

PORTLAND, OR—Local progressive church Sojourners Faith Collective just announced an exciting new “drag queen Bible story hour” which will be held every Sunday at 10 a.m. in place of normal worship. 

The new program will include stories such as A Day in the Life of the Serpent, Lucifer’s First Crush, and Polygamy’s Back, Baby! The stories will be told by the hottest and most masculine men-pretending-to-be-women in town. 

“I can’t believe it took us so long to come up with this idea,” said Pastor Jenna Turnpike (they/them). “My partner Rick has been a drag queen ever since I can remember. And his Bible expertise is out of this world! He’s definitely going to be our main girl.”

Since announcing the new program this morning, Sojourners has already seen a 300% increase in membership. Most newcomers are members of the LGBTQ community, but some are parents who want to teach their kids the importance of faith and how confusion is just a part of the journey. 

Drag queens have already started rehearsing for this Sunday’s show, which will feature the classic When Samson Wore A Wig. However, things hit a roadblock when one of the men, who was dressed up as a woman, opened up the Bible to the 20th chapter of Leviticus.