NFL Player Announces He Is Gay, Is Switching Over To Soccer

Babylon Bee🐝

LAS VEGAS, NV—The Raiders' Carl Nassib announced he was gay this week, becoming the first openly gay player in NFL history. 

Shortly after the announcement, he also announced he would be switching from football to soccer.

"I have come to the realization that I am gay," he said in an emotional interview, "and coincidentally, I will also now be playing soccer going forward." Nassib said the realization that his true felt identity was as a soccer player coincided with his discovery that he was gay, but that the two don't necessarily have any kind of correlation.

"It's a complete coincidence, honestly," he said as he removed his Raiders jersey and put on an L.A. Galaxy shirt. "I like men and I also like to lightly kick a ball around a field while not scoring any goals. There's no relationship between those two facts." Nassib added that it's hard for him to leave the Raiders as a gay man, but ultimately soccer is a better fit for him.

The press then tried to ask him a question, but he flopped on the ground in pain, claiming to have been attacked by homophobes.