The Woke Pledge of Allegiance
I pledge allegiance to the Perfect Socialist Nation that will surely spring forth after we neutralize, by any means necessary, those who now pledge allegiance to the actual United States of America, founded in 1619 to perpetuate slavery and nothing more than a cauldron of racism ever since, and ruled by oppressive people of no color who are intrinsically evil from birth.
We, the woke, that is, the LGBTQ, Latinx, Asian Pacific islander, people of color, and people of no color who repent of their sins, pledge allegiance to the oligarchy that is bringing forth this new nation. We pledge allegiance to the FBI, the CIA, the IRS, the intelligence community and the Department of Homeland Security, which played a key role in the fundamental transformation. We pledge allegiance to the CDC, which knows what is best for us at all times and never makes a mistake.
We the woke will respect the dictatorship of the subjunctive mood that now prevails in government and the media. We will continue to have our own opinions, but not when they differ from those of the president, vice president, his cabinet, and the entire oligarchy. That would align us with the oppressors, insurrectionists, and subversives still loyal to the actual America, now rightfully consigned to the ash heap of history.
We therefore pledge allegiance to one oligarchy, under fraud, with little if any liberty but social justice for all.
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