Biden Announces Rollback Of All Jobs Created By Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a surprise announcement at the start of the week, President Biden revealed that, for the good of the country, he will be eliminating all jobs created by Trump.
"Listen, folks-- it's time to wash away the mistakes of the past," said Biden to a clump of bran in his cereal bowl he mistook for his labor secretary. "Trump was a bad racist man, and everything he did was bad. It's time to roll back all the racist jobs he created and replace them with new, non-racist jobs-- like windmill painters, solar panel squeegee repairmen, and COVID lockdown enforcers."
Journalists at The New York Times praised the announcement as "a step in the right direction" toward forever erasing the Trump presidency. "All those millions of jobs have been tainted by white supremacy," said Executive Editor Dean Baquet. "All those people who are losing their jobs should thank President Biden since they no longer work in Trump-created jobs and are now on the right side of history."
Biden has promised to build special labor camps for people who have lost their jobs and still want to do some labor. "We will pay you with 1 bag of rice per week, and some delicious powdered milk!" he announced proudly.
Unfortunately, this measure is expected to eliminate most mainstream journalism jobs, since Trump created most of those too.
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