The $380 “Facts First” sweater

The idiots at CNN have all the self-awareness of a mollusk.

posted by Dianny at Patriot Retort

CNN has taken to product placement during its newscast. I’d be surprised if CNN was a news network. But as it is, it’s par for the course. Anchorette Kate Bolduan appeared on air wearing a “Facts First” sweater and CNN’s “Head of Strategic Communications” Matt Dornic wasted no time promoting the ugly-ass thing on Twitter.

And here I thought that masturbatory Washington Post Super Bowl ad was the low-point for journalism. I stand corrected.

Hang on to your hats, folks. The “Facts First” sweater is $380.

$380 for a friggin’ sweater with ugly-ass embroidery placed way too far up on the front.

So far up, in fact, you can easily Photoshop additional ugly-ass embroidery beneath it.

$380 seems a bit much for something that ugly. But there’s no accounting for taste.

Millions of Americans are struggling and CNN chooses now of all times to promote a $380 cashmere sweater?

Talk about tone deaf.

The idiots at CNN have all the self-awareness of a mollusk.

The maker of this ugly-ass “Facts First” sweater includes this Ode to CNN on her website. Brace yourselves. It will make you retch:

Facts are facts.
They aren’t colored by emotion or bias.
They are indisputable.
There is no alternative to a fact.
Facts explain things.
What they are, how they happened.
Facts are not interpretations.
Once facts are established, opinions can be formed.
And while opinions matter, they don’t change facts.
We stand with our friends at CNN who start with the facts first.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Is it just me or does anyone else imagine Brian Stelter locked in his bathroom with a box of Kleenex and a bottle of lotion reading this poem to himself over and over and over again while making strange chirping noises?

Look at that ridiculous fan fiction. Does a single word of her silly Ode describe CNN?

How ironic of CNN promoting a “Facts First” sweater on the same day we learn that the story of Hunter Biden’s dirty deals that CNN buried before the election was, in fact, not Russian Disinformation as CNN claimed, but fact.

As Mollie Hemingway pointed out yesterday:

I’d be embarrassed for Kate Bolduan, but really, given the fact that she works at CNN, I’m guessing she was born without the embarrassment gene.

Seriously, you can’t even parody these people anymore.