Winning: Trump Walks Onstage Holding Hunter Biden’s Laptop

Babylon Bee🐝

NASHVILLE, TN—Tonight’s final presidential debate got off to a bit of a rough start for Joe Biden. When the debate began, and the two candidates walked toward their respective podiums, Biden looked over and noticed that President Trump was carrying his son Hunter’s laptop. 

Sweat dripped from Biden’s brow as he answered the opening question. He stuttered a few times and took a couple peeks over at Trump, who was attempting to log into the laptop.

“Hey, he can’t do that!” Biden exclaimed, halfway through his mostly-confusing answer. “That’s cheating! That’s Russian disinformation!” Just then Biden got an idea and he smiled an evil smile. “Hey, this bozo doesn’t even know the password. How’s he going to get in? Gotcha Don! You're finished!”

“Now, lets see here,” Trump said when it was his turn to speak. “What would Hunter Biden’s password be? ‘Crack is good’? No, that’s too easy. Let’s try ‘I love China,’ see if that works. YES! It worked! There it is America: 'I love China.' It's right there in the password! Amazing."

Trump continued on, and opened up the first file he noticed on the home screen. Trump’s eyes opened wide, and he shouted out in terror, dropping the laptop to the ground. He then reached under his podium for a trash can and began to vomit.