Rioters Beginning To Worry They Can No Longer Loot Safely

Babylon Bee🐝

U.S.—For the past few months, the riots across America have been relatively peaceful, with people able to loot stores, beat bystanders, and burn down buildings without any fear of violence. That has changed recently, though, with the deployment of the National Guard in some places and the outbreak of armed right-wingers in other areas.

“It used to be if you were just minding your own business, stealing things and setting the neighborhood on fire, people would leave you alone,” said Chris Rice, a rioter. “Now it’s getting scary. You can’t even smash a window in peace.”

Many point to how Kyle Rittenhouse shot three people and worry that incidents like that could spread.

“Everything has been so peaceful during these riots,” said Noah Glover, a self-described member of Antifa. “You could just run up to someone and beat him unconscious with a sock full of nickels and not have to worry about any violence. But now it’s getting dangerous.”

Some of the rioters are trying to think of new ways to get their message across other than looting and arson, but none of them can remember what they were protesting.