New Netflix Movie Actually Murders Puppies To Teach That Murdering Puppies Is Bad

Babylon Bee🐝

U.S.—Netflix is embroiled in controversy yet again with its new documentary Puppy Murder, a show where the director kills puppies to teach you that murdering puppies is bad. 

The movie is just two hours of puppies being brutally murdered onscreen, sending a powerful message to the viewer about just how bad puppy murder is. From getting shot and stabbed to being run over with a steamroller and the inspiring climactic scene where a puppy is dropped into a volcano, the movie unequivocally and powerfully shows the brutal reality of puppy murder.

"I thought about just making a documentary where I didn't actually murder puppies to make the point, but it just wasn't powerful enough," said director Amélie Le'Charpentier (who is, by the way, a woman of color and an immigrant, so think about that before you criticize her). "I drew on my own experiences having observed puppy murder a number of times and decided I would just drop anvils and pianos on them and stuff so you could see how terrible puppy murder is."

Many people spoke up against the film but were labeled "triggered conservatives" and "scandal-mongers" since they obviously just didn't get the message of the film, which very clearly teaches that puppy murder is bad.

The show has been a big success among psychopaths and future mass murderers and will see a sequel called Baby Murder next fall.