Thursday, December 12, 2019

Trump's Popularity Surges After Nation Learns He May Have Obstructed Congress



U.S.—Democrats unveiled their articles of impeachment against President Trump, but one of the charges seems to have backfired. The suggestion that Trump obstructed Congress turned out to be a far more popular idea than Democrats had predicted.

As soon as it was revealed that Trump may have slowed the legislative branch from getting any work done, Americans praised Trump for his patriotic service. Trump's popularity saw a huge spike in national polls, putting him in the 80% approval range for the first time ever. Support was bipartisan, as Republicans were happy he was stopping the House and Democrats were happy that he was stopping the Senate. Libertarians were smoking weed and didn't seem to understand the question.

"Any president who stops Congress from doing their jobs is a hero in my book," said one voter in Ohio. "I wasn't sure I supported Trump at first, but when the Dems accused him of hindering Congress, I boarded the Trump train immediately."

"ALL ABOARD! CHOO CHOO! MAGA!" he yelled, donning his brand-new MAGA hat.

At publishing time, Trump was looking for ways to obstruct both the judicial and executive branches, further increasing his popularity.