New York Times Reveals Source On Kavanaugh Allegations Was Reputable Nigerian Prince

Babylon Bee 🐝

NEW YORK, NY—Many people criticized the New York Times' recent piece bringing to light new and recycled Brett Kavanaugh allegations, especially after the website issued a disclaimer admitting basically nobody remembered the alleged incident. 

But the Times is standing by its story, going so far as to reveal its source: a reputable Nigerian prince who emailed the investigative reporters offering information in exchange for funds to be wired via MoneyGram.

"The Nigerian prince contacted us and said he had dirt on Kavanaugh, and who were we to question his story?" said Kate Kelly, one of the reporters who worked on the piece and new book on Kavanaugh. "Who  do we look like, Dick Tracy? If Nigerian royalty contacts you asking for a million dollars and promises you information on Kavanaugh, you have to act on that kind of lead."

The Times reproduced the email the Nigerian prince sent them:

SUBJECT: I AM CONTACT YOU IN RESPECT OF FAMILY GOLD TREASURE FOR KAVANAH INFO

FROM: LEGITIMATENIGERIANPRINCEMAN

Dear sirs and/or madams,

My name is Bob Smith.I have very much need of reliable persons and it is my reason for contacting you today.I have a very big family treasure in the sum of $1,000,000 U.S. pounds and need this money extradited out of the country immediately.I hear you are in need of many information on Bret Kavanah the evil white devil judge.If you help me I am very willing to help you in return with money of a sizable nature.But first I require funds to come via wire and when wired money has come I will be able to leave my country and come to you with even more riches than your most wild imaginations can contain.Thank you for listening today but we will here from you soon.

HIS MAJESTY BOB SMITH

HIGHEST PRINCE OF NIGERIA AND COOL GUY

"As you can see," Kelly continued, "this was pretty well-researched and the source was pretty darn reputable."