Not long ago, I wrote that my New Year’s resolution was to try to care less about what’s going on outside the bounds of my own community. While this didn’t mean I was going to stop my job of commenting and reporting on current events, it did mean that I would be far less susceptible to letting these events have an effect on my and my family’s life.
It was my theory that everyone else should try to care less as well. As I explained, this didn’t mean that people should become heartless, but that they’d tone down their emotional dial a few notches so that they wouldn’t be as susceptible to what one commenter brilliantly called “weaponized empathy” or the ability for someone to pull on your heartstrings to goad you into a position beneficial for them.
(READ: My New Year’s Resolution Is to Care Less)
This thought arose in my mind once again as I watched the drama unfold around Philadelphia Flyers hockey player Ivan Provorov. For those who haven’t heard of this story yet, it concerns the aforementioned hockey player refusing to wear an LGBT-themed jersey during practice on account of his Christian beliefs. He reassured people that he respects everyone’s personal decisions and means no offense, but this was his personal decision.
A respectful position to take and, in a world where social tyrants weren’t on every corner waiting to be offended, this would have been a moment where people tipped their hats and went on their way. But sadly, that’s not the world we live in. The LGBT activist community and their allies began absolutely losing it and wishing the word for Provolov, including one sports commentator who suggested Provorov should go back to Russia and be thrust into the deadly Russia/Ukraine war.
Amidst the furor, one man from the gay community asked why LGBT people needed Provorov to even wear the jersey in the first place and why they kept seeking validation for their lifestyles from people outside of the community to the point of force.
There’s an intense lack of self-awareness from a large swath of people in today’s society, and I wouldn’t just pin it on people who are LGBT or even the left in general. There’s a need for validation that is so intense that people are willing to hold a figurative gun to the heads of others and make them care. It reveals what is definitely a massive lack of self-confidence.
The thing is, people are generally good. They want to avoid hurting others and don’t want to be rude, insensitive, or uncaring. They want to avoid confrontation and have no desire to make anyone else feel like they’re trying to force anything on them.
This has, sadly, caused two things to occur. For one, it’s made some people realize that with enough outrage and offense, they can get people to comply with whatever they say or do. Secondly, that passivity has caused beliefs that should have been thrown out with the garbage to flourish. They now infect our society and are causing more havoc than anyone could have thought they would 20 years ago.
One of these ideas is that others are responsible for their mental health. The world must bend and conform to them and their little bubble. Every conversation, every word, every action, every piece of clothing, every thought, and every minute must be dedicated to catering to the emotions and feelings of a singular person or small group of people.
But people do it. They do it because they care about other people.
But this is like handing money to a drug addict on the street begging for a few dollars to eat. You believe you’re doing him a service and getting him a bite to eat. You’re not. He’s going to take that money people had given him and purchase another hit of whatever he’s hooked on. You helped this man sink further into his personal mire and handed cash to whatever cartel, gang, or drug lord is making these drugs.
Humanity has to wake up at some point and realize that they’re being duped by people who only want to use them for their own purposes. They need to understand that they should absolutely care a little less and that this lack of caring is actually far better for the offended person than not.
People need to understand that they are not responsible for the mental health of others. That is the concern of the individual. Period.
Don’t allow yourself to be fooled into thinking you owe validation to anyone. The world would be a lot better off if we all understood that.