HUDSON, OH—It’s been a crazy time for the past year, but some Ohio residents were exposed to a very confusing sight: Outside walking alone was a man wearing a red “Make America Great Again” hat and also wearing a mask. It gave people a headache just to look at him.
“It's baffling to observe,” said one person. “You see the MAGA hat and go, ‘Here’s some far-right Trumper,’ but then you see the pointless virtue-signaling mask and think, ‘Here’s some left-wing ninny who is going to go all Karen on me.’”
"It's like, pick a lane, man!"
No one was able to comprehend the man, as he was strongly signaling two opposite political beliefs, like someone wearing a Gadsden flag shirt with a hammer and sickle pin. A number of theories arose about him. Some thought he was wearing the mask because he was a Trump-loving ninja. Others suggested he was a far-left weenie whose head was cold and just didn’t pay much attention when grabbing a hat, perhaps thinking it was a Cincinnati Reds hat.
What people eventually settled on is that he was maybe one of those libertarians and everyone should definitely observe at least a six-foot distance from him lest he start arguing with them.