Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Ted Cruz Dons All-White Suit To Cry Outside Biden's Detention Centers



DONNA, TX—After disturbing pictures were released of conditions inside migrant detention facilities on the border, Senator Ted Cruz donned a bright white suit and visited the border with a camera crew to weep bitterly outside the chain-link fence. 

"I'm here to see what's really going on down here," said Cruz, tears streaming down his face. "It's even worse than I thought. These are literal concentration camps. The president is literally Hitler. I can't believe this is happening in America."

Cruz then doubled over, overcome with grief as camera flashes went off. 

"WHHHYYYYYYYY? Oh, the humanity!" he cried, screaming toward the sky. 

The Texas senator then posted the photos on social media so the world could share in his righteous indignation. Unfortunately, Twitter and Facebook suspended his account for taking unauthorized photos of a federal facility.