Thursday, October 29, 2020

Record-Breaking 800 Million Americans Expected To Vote



U.S.— Experts now believe that this year will be marked by unprecedented voter turnout. With the help of mail-in voting, officials believe as many as 800 million U.S. citizens will be able to cast their vote.

“Finally, all eligible voters in this nation will be able to have their voices heard,” said Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “For too long the American people have experienced voter suppression, but now all of their votes will be accounted for. No more and no less.” 

“With this many people casting their ballots, those that would attempt voter fraud will be vastly outnumbered and drowned out,” the congresswoman continued. “For the first time, we will have enough legitimate ballots cast that we will truly hear the voices of the American people.”

Many are also thanking Mark Zuckerberg and the team at Facebook for their subtle 2020 voting reminders.  “You probably haven’t even noticed yet, but every time you log onto Facebook, you will be reminded at least 38 times to go vote,” Zuckerberg explained. ”We’ve found that this laid-back, unobtrusive approach is key to getting out the vote.”

Some have pointed out that they are pretty sure that there aren’t even 800 million people in America, but Facebook has quickly censored them for hate speech and voter suppression. “We are taking no chances. The integrity of this election must be protected at all costs!”

At publishing time, polls indicated that all 800 million votes are expected to be placed for Joe Biden.