Another Babblin' Beelieve it! Article
After President Trump banned the practice of taking a knee earlier this week, liberal democrats were left triggered and angry. Today in an act of fairness toward those on the other side, President Trump assisted the democrats in their protest of our past presidents and other historical figures by removing all cash and coin from democrat bank accounts, wallets, purses, and pocketbooks that feature their depictions.
"If the democrats want to remove statues, monuments, or portraits of our beloved presidents and founders because they think they're bad people, then I ask why not help them out by removing all that money from their accounts that display those - as they call it - 'offensive' images of those same people," Trump scrutinized from the White House today. "With this executive order," the President continued, "Democrats will no longer have to keep these currency notes that display the pictures of these past men which offend them so much and so easily. We gotta take back all the money from the democrats. Take it all back - they're so offended."
President Donald Trump also mentioned even the lowest denomination of federal notes.
"Franklin and Hamilton, two of our most prominent Founding Fathers. And our past presidents, Grant, Jackson, and even Lincoln, the democrats hate them all. So we gotta take all the money from them so they won't be so offended. Jefferson. Washington too. Washington too," the President boldly emphasized. "Washington is of course, on the one dollar bill, so we have to take all the bills away from the democrats, every last dollar - They're so offended by these men."
Trump then added, "I could go into McKinley, Cleveland, Madison, or Chase, but I'd just be talking over all your heads at that point," as he pointed to the fake news liberal media urinalists in the room.
Trump didn't stop at just cash however. Also included in the executive order was a provision to remove all coins from democrat held accounts as well, since even the cent features Abraham Lincoln.
Abilio Acost-her tried to interrupt the event by yelling something about Sacagawea coins, perhaps imagining that he had caught the President in a "gotcha" moment, to which Trump answered, "I guess democrats could use Sacagawea coins for everything, but then again they would probably call her a 'race-traitor' for helping Lewis and Clark in their expedition, which helped expand America's territory, so I don't know if they would want her coins either." Trump then pressed a sensor on his watch that dropped Fake News Abilio through a trap door.
The fake news liberal media reached out to Joe Biden for comment, but could not find where Joe's Hide'n.
The Democrat "Response"
Eventually, a wild democrat candidate appeared on the streets of Scranton Pennsylvania and blurted out the following confusion...
"When you got a plan to make the money... take the money... TAKE the money from your sister's purse... I mean my wife. Oh God she's been my wife for... you know you go... if we don't count all these jellybeans... Uh... We're coming down to the wire here and the oceans will swallow us whole. Solar power! Solar power. That will move this economy forward. Look... we... uh... What am I... I don't know where it went. And that's another problem is when billions of Americans are riding the train and not social distance, we have to build on the social distance," Biden was reported mumbling to a nearby mailbox. He then wandered about 50 feet over to a black SUV and stuck his index finger into the gas tank's fill spout, presumably mistaking it for Rosie O'Donnell in ANTIFA garb.With all democrats having their U.S. coin and currency seized, they will now be relying completely on their preferred currency...
Believe it!