A pal emailed me something hilarious the other day. He explained how the Democrat platform, as espoused by the individual members of the Democrats’ Star Wars bar scene – also known as their presidential wannabes – would affect individual Americans. Each instance identifies the fictitious Democrat who bloviates about the particular issue examined.
Fred Stevens, a welder
and Joe Frisco, a bartender, neither of whom went to college will have
to pay off the student loans for Eric an Art History major and Emma a
Gender Studies major because they cannot get jobs. (Elizabeth Warren)
Yusef Hussein, who killed 23 children by bombing their school will be allowed to vote from prison. (Bernie Sanders)
Grace
Thompson, who worked hard for 47 years, must give up her
employer-furnished medical plan and join the National Health plan. (The
whole Star Wars bar scene slate)
La’Darius
Washington, who has never had a regular job, will receive a monthly
income from the Federal government to spend as he pleases. (Amy
Klobuchar)
Billy
White, age 16, who has trouble with subject/verb agreement in English
class, still has trouble with fractions in math class, and who thinks
Judge Judy is on the Supreme Court will get to vote. (Kirsten
Gillibrand)
Stan Billings, an
avid deer hunter, will have his semi-automatic rifle (fires one shot
each time you pull the trigger) taken away, or go to jail, because it
looks like an AR 15. (Eric Swalwell)
Sven
Johannson, whose grandfather immigrated to the U.S. in 1953, will have
to pay reparations to Sha’lyndia Jefferson because she THINKS her
great-great-great grandfather MIGHT have been a slave. (Cory Booker)
Thomas
Finch, who is an ambitious and motivated adult, cannot get a job
because he doesn’t want to join a labor union. (Kamala Harris)
Sammy
Thomas, a farmer, will no longer be able to haul his crops to market in
his 3/4 ton diesel pick-up, but will have to make 43 trips in his
Toyota Prius. (The whole Star Wars bar scene slate)
The population of the U.S. will become 76.4% Hispanic because all of the existing border wall will be torn down. (Beto O’Rourke)
By
the way, none of the aforementioned will matter whatsoever because the
world is going to end in twelve years (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez).
The end.
https://www.redstate.com/stu-in-sd/2019/11/10/parody-democrat-platform-2020/
