Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Elon Waiting For Black Friday Half-Off Sale So He Can Buy MSNBC


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AUSTIN, TX — As rumors continued to swirl of his interest in purchasing the beleaguered cable news channel, reports indicated that entrepreneur Elon Musk was waiting for a Black Friday "half-off" sale so he could buy MSNBC for just $30.

Always in search of a good deal, the world's wealthiest man was reportedly eager to jump on a sweet Black Friday price and get the network for a steal instead of paying full price. Musk said you don't become wealthy without knowing how to shop for the biggest discount.

"I'm always on the lookout for a good bargain," Musk reportedly told his inner circle. "I'm open to the idea of buying MSNBC, but nobody wants to pay full price for anything around this time of year. This week is Black Friday. If I can land the opportunity to hold Rachel Maddow's fate in my hands for a killer deal, I'm here for it."

Though the news channel was believed to still carry some substantial worth, current owners NBCUniversal understood the importance of capitalizing on the consumer excitement that comes with Black Friday. "We'd be remiss if we didn't take advantage of it," said CEO Mike Cavanaugh. "Other businesses generate a lot of buzz with their Black Friday sales, and we don't want to be left out."

At publishing time, NBCUniversal executives were hoping that if Musk was able to purchase MSNBC for a reduced price, they might also be able to entice Mark Cuban to take the gay cable network Bravo off their hands.