Friday, October 11, 2024

Kamala’s ‘Charm’ Blitzkrieg Fails Miserably


There are some people so incompetent that they could blow a tap-in putt. “Hand me the wedge,” they say as they overlook a 2-inch gap. You can’t help these people, even though they are likely the most in need of saving anyone, because you can’t save people from themselves. This, I suspect, is why the handlers of Kamala Harris have chosen to run the campaign they have. 

Hiding is the only defense against incompetence. The only problem is that no matter where you hide, there you are. A person can escape a lot, themselves is not one of them. 

After two months of hiding not working, as the public notices the Democratic Party’s nominees for president and vice president haven’t really done much talking beyond scripted, vapid stump speeches, the Harris/Walz campaign has decided to launch a “charm offensive.” They decided to let their candidates talk in what can only be described as either uber-friendly or softly-scripted interviews with supporters…and they still did horribly.

You can tell a lot about the amount of faith a campaign has in its candidates by the people they’re willing to talk to. For example, Donald Trump will do pretty anything and to almost anyone, unless they’ve mistreated him in the past. 

Kamala Harris and Tim Walz, on the other hand, would need their own family members screened and topics agreed to before they’d sit down for breakfast with them. (In Kamala’s case you might be able to understand it, as news reports indicated her husband allegedly has no problem smacking a woman around if she displeases him.)

Aside from a 3 on a 1 to 10 scale of toughness interview with 60 Minutes, Democrats could not have played it safer than they have. Howard Stern has fully transitioned into everything he mocked in order to become famous in the first place, with whatever testicles he had left actually ascending back into his body, seemingly all the way into his throat. 

Stephen Colbert rivals some of the least funny lairs in the history of humans post-primordial ooze emergence, was chosen to speak to Kamala because from the spacious apartment he’s taken up in the rear end of whatever Democrat his establishment bosses toss his way. His show, which was supposed to be a comedy show, has ditched the traditional structure of set-up and punchline for partisan statements and applause lines. His audience doesn’t laugh, they clap in agreement. 

Were CBS not the network that had to convene “sensitivity meetings” with “news” staff because limp-spined losers got upset that a “father of Jewish children who live in Israel” dared to ask a racist black man with a heaping side dish of anti-Semitism about his latest screed regarding how he thinks Israel shouldn’t exist a couple of moderately tough, wrapped in ass-kissing, questions during an interview on an alleged news program, Colbert might be held to some kind of standards and either told to try comedy or be fired for having murdered David Letterman’s old show. But, as was confirmed again in the vice presidential debate, CBS doesn’t have standards, so he’ll be fine.

Tim Walz, the coked-out Muppet running with Harris, was sent to Jimmy Kimmel, how hosted a fundraiser for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, pretending the former was still mentally competent and “vital” until that lie no longer served the purposes of the DNC. I’d comment on how unfunny Kimmel has become, but he never really was. And that saddest part is he’s actually funnier than he is smart, so he’s the perfect interviewer for Fraudie Murphy. 

Then there is the gaggle of Harpies on The View. It was like ABC News saw what CBS had become and said, “Hold my chardonnay.” 

The View is actually an anomaly. Previously, it had been thought that a collective IQ could not be lower than the sum of its members' points. This show proves it is possible for dumb people to get together and be collectively dumber. It’s a miracle, honestly. 

In real life it is impossible to find 5 people who agree on everything, in the media it’s easy – all you need are attention whores willing to do anything for money. They can’t have any standards, just a desire for attention, an unrivaled laziness and an ability to repeat whatever a producer tells them. They also have to not care that they routinely make complete fools of themselves by getting basic facts and lessons in civics so wrong that a normal person would be humiliated and at least do some basic research on their own to avoid looking like a moron in the future. That might get you fired.

These are the people deemed worthy to speak to the Democratic Party’s nominees. 

While one might find it odd that a person campaigning on the idea that they want to be “President for all Americans” will only speak to people who will completely agree with them while keeping their lips pressed firmly against their ass cheeks as they do it, this is a testament to just how bad and out of touch those nominees are with real Americans. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t run from them.